The Adventures of a Kennedy

An update entry

2009-12-19T16:51:00.000-08:00

Some photographic evidence I have not slipped into a deep dark hole:

Moving into the new apartment- assembling my IKEA bed.

Steffi and Tai leaving our apartment to for Thanksgiving.

Picture of my mom, me, and my mother's fiancee at my mother's house.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving.

After Thanksgiving feast walk

Final bar night to say goodbye to exchange friends.

Final bar night to say goodbye to exchange friends.

My new German roommate and me at the bar.

After the snow storm, photo by my roommate

So I understand that there is a more than necessary update blog entry since it has been over a month since my last. I appreciate all the messages asking when my next entry would be. However I have been quite busy with the end of the semester festivities. It's been a long and hard semester but overall I am very happy with how it turned out. It was more than a challenge at times but nonetheless a learning experience. This period of growth did come at the high price of not having too many social nights in comparison with my life in Sweden, but I can honestly say it was well worth it. As I talked today with a close friend of mine who I met in Sweden, Alisha reminded me how much exchange life can change you and really mature you beyond your years. As we both realized, this semester - after exchange we became knowledge fiends, knowledge thirsty and finding ourselves researching in and out of the classroom realm.

I recently had to write my final papers for my classes and was so happy to finally be done last Wednesday. My topics: "The Reconciliation of India-Pakistan Relations: The Importance of Jammu and Kashmir in Combating International Terrorism in the South Asia Region", "The United States of America's Nuclear Weapons Testing Program in the Marshall Islands: Questions of Accountability and Gross Human Right Violations", "Post-Slavery Era: Has There Truly Been Progression in America?" and several others.

Write more in the morning...

One Year Anniversary and Letting the Truth be Revealed...

2009-11-16T08:43:00.000-08:00

Happy One Year Anniversary for Connecticut Legalizing SAME SEX MARRIAGE!

My friend Cali invited me to join her on Thursday, November 12, 2009 at our state's capital building in Hartford, Connecticut to celebrate the one year anniversary for the legalization of same sex marriages. Though I had to miss a class for this, it was something I am so glad that I have understanding professors. This historical event brought a whole new meaning to me as I realized just how many people this legislation truly affected. 2,291 same sex marriages have been performed in Connecticut since the legislation passed last year- some couples having been together for 35 years and awaited this moment for a very long time. Others moved from other states in order to marry and in some cases even live in a state in which their marriage is recognized.

While I was at the event, which I was volunteering to help get things ready, a man came up to me to ask if I could take his photo with a couple. While we waited for the couple to come over (they were talking with another couple), the man was telling me just how much this day meant to him. Although his husband was not there to celebrate with him (he was still in the army serving), he came to just to celebrate with the other couples. His husband and him had moved up from North Carolina just to get married and live in a state that recognized their marriage and love. Just listening to him made me so happy and so sad all at the same time... However he empowered me from the inside out without even knowing it...

On the drive home I realized just how much these people had put themselves out for public scrutiny when trying to pass this law. I realized just how much I had oppressed my own feelings over the last seven years because I questioned and felt like I was unable really even express my true colors- out of straight fear of the public reaction. However looking back I had no idea why I was so afraid. I had never been the kind of person to care too much what others had to say (at least in high school and on...).

So I went home with all intentions to come out to my mother. I realized I was bisexual when I was "dating" a girl in high school. What started off as a joke really turned into me realizing just how much I really liked her. No need for a name, however if she does read this I hope she realizes just how much she meant to me and how much I thank her for opening my eyes. During the rest of my high school career however I had to suppress those thoughts and feelings because I knew my younger sister had heard about the rumor that I might be a lesbian. When my sister confronted me I was so scared that I quickly wrote it off as a pure high school falsified rumor. How I later regretted that decision.

Five years have passed since that day and I realized just how much I needed to confront those feelings... so without the chance and enough courage to say it straight to my mother's face... I sent her a text on my way home... was not the way I had intended it but nevertheless it felt good having it off my chest.

My mother reacted in a way I guess I saw coming... she was more than welcoming to it and said she loved me no matter what and that love was hard enough to come by so if I am lucky enough to find it, either with a male or female she supported me no matter what...

AH the feeling of complete relief!

See photos below (2 of which were from the event this past week)

New Haircut & A New Start

2009-11-14T17:23:00.000-08:00

Catch up:
Steffi and I have been driving back and forth these pass two weeks to our apartment management company. Finally last week we went to pay the rest of our security deposit when our management friend (aka the woman we always work with since her boss is too intense for us) told us that she had another open apartment. We were so so so excited- even more when we walked in and we really really loved it. New cabinets, new stove, great hardwood floors, big windows, and etc. We were so pleased we went and signed our pre-lease agreement right away. Next week we go back to do the lease agreement and we move in on the 27th!!!!!!!!!! Yayyyy. Very excited for it.

(See Same Sex Marriage post-- which should of come before the rest of this blog entry)

So today Steffi and I went to the mall to do some shopping. Stef wanted to look into getting hair extensions, however they were way more expensive than we could have imagined. Ranging from $250 to $600 for only lasting 3 months tops.. Jesus. So basically we just ran around the mall for hours and ended up getting our hair cut randomly. See photos below. Mine is wicked short now.. ah. Good and bad I suppose. Curled its even shorter so I am not sure how to handle it just yet.

Ramblings

2009-11-04T19:44:00.000-08:00

Don't they know that somethings going on,
What their harming with their indecision,
Who will be left standing when I'm gone,
There will be nothing left but a vision.
It's too easy to turn a blind eye to the light,
It's too easy to bow your head and pray.
But there are sometimes when you should
try to find your voice,
now this is one voice that you must find today.

-Miracle, by Oceanlab

Quick exercise: Take one of your hands and point your index finger.

Quick moral to the story: Notice your index finger is pointing at something or someone. Then turn your hand so you can spot the three fingers curled into your palm. *When you point a finger at someone else, there are three pointing back at you. Keep that in mind next time you go to scrutinize someone for their actions or lack there of. Be prepared to be scrutinized yourself.

Ah life. How you confuse me to no end. Constantly throwing me into loops. Though I know I am privileged in so many different ways, I seriously lack the thought progress of how I can be a better person and change the world. How can I fight for my fellow beings across the globe. Why am I always focused on myself? Well part of that, a small part, realizes that I really need to find my spiritual being in order to harness the energy to such a huge matter... However I really need to figure that out so I can progress into a better person and stand up for those without the voice.

Whooo knows.. sorry just rambling tonight. My mind is completely scrambled these days.

Just wanted to let you guys know that I truly have some amazing people in my life and I would not take it back for the world. One of my closest friends called me last night.. I just want her to know, if she is reading this how much I love her and hope she knows it.

What will I be when I grow up?

2009-11-02T20:26:00.000-08:00

Everyone always asks themselves what they want to be when they grow up. And especially in the American culture, it is as if we need to know right away due to the competitive nature of our society. We must be the best and strive to accomplish as much as possible to be the more appealing applicant in a pile of resumes.

But in the end are you happy with what you do? If you answered yes, then by all means advance to the next question. Looking back, can you honestly say you live with no regrets and would not change one thing? Such questions are posed in order to make you go into a bit of self-reflection. I am currently evaluating what I want to do with my own life but really do not see an answer to my first question in regards to what I want to be when I grow up. Does it really matter if I cannot answer that right now? At least I know in which direction I am shooting for and so what if I am aiming to the darkness. By risking nothing, you risk everything.

Right now I am asking my soul whether or not I am happy with my status quo or whether or not I need another round of studying abroad in order to fulfill my appetite for learning in the non-traditional American university classroom. All signs point to the fact that I am not content with the status quo. The fact is I was supposed to be in Ghana right now, living my absolute dream come true. Everyone keeps saying, everything happens for a reason, but does it really? With all my beliefs is that a quote I actually, full-heartily believe in? The answer to that question is simply no. In my own personal opinion there is no master plan awaiting us, thus forth we live on our own. We are the creators of our futures and there is no such thing as destiny. Please debate with me if you believe otherwise, if not let me continue on...

Today I submitted my paperwork for my course abroad next semester in the southern region of Spain and Northern Morocco. Very excited to see the payment went through and it feels a bit more real now. Next step is to officially register next week for the course when registration opens up.. Ekks how exciting.

Also today I filled out the application for an apartment I am applying for. Actually it's called a townhouse... ha ha. But yes so excited to see what comes of it. Should be a for sure however and I cannot wait to hear the response! My future roommate and I will go to look at the available townhouses and select which one we will soon be calling home next week if all goes to plan so that we can move in the 1st of December (however I will be in and out for the first month since I still have my housing to the middle of the month. I am really excited since I miss the apartment life in this post-Sweden time...

Well that is just a quick update on future plans. Keep you updated! Keep reading and hope to hear from my readers!

Since using the blog analytic feature that Google offers- I have been able to track the amount of visits and which countries are entering my page. Since I started doing this a month ago, I have had 182 visits from 17 countries.. See the map below (click on it to enlarge) :D

What do I do now? Part Two/Två

2009-11-01T12:53:00.000-08:00

In continuation of the last post...

My time with Rob was really great. It was almost like no time had passed between us. I really appreciated that feeling since he was such a good friend of mine while I lived in New Jersey. However I had such strong feelings for him when I did live in New Jersey and it was evident that I had had the closure on those feelings at least. But I realized just how much I appreciated the depth of our discussions. So much that I realized when we were back to his house just how late it really was getting. Exhausted we walked down the street to the convenience store to get a coffee. Soon after I was on my 3 hour drive home.. and of course it was raining and being New England region the autumn left the road full of leaves.. so about 5 minutes away from my school... I was driving in the fast lane (the left lane) and came to a bad curve in the road in which I did not take to well. Going a few miles over the speed limit and seeing the car in front of me suffering to survive the curve, I suffered and unfortunately was not successful.

Next thing I knew I was spinning out of control, crossing four lanes of traffic and crashing into the concrete guard rail (the rail which lines the the highway). Hitting the guard rail my car bounced off back into traffic and left me shaking uncontrollably with fear. It really just frightened me up and I truly believed that I was going to flip over the guard rail into oncoming traffic which was under the highway I was on. However when I quickly realized I was still alive and intact... I then quickly realized that I was still not out of harms way and there was a car approaching fast around the corner and about to hit me directly on my car door.

At the last moment the car swerved and missed me. I had not been able to move at since I was shaking so much so the car that had nearly hit me pulled over to try to check on me. I had just called the police (somehow) so the man came over to check on me and try to get my car pulled over more out of harms way.

Needless to say in the end, one written warning issued by the police, $180 later to fix the: alignment; new rim; new corner lights, and of course one huge fright later... I realized just how completely lucky I was to have made it out of the situation with my life, good friends helping me out as much as they did and most importantly the realization that I have the full opportunity to live my life how I desire and need to. Realizing this I just applied for a loan and decided to go to Spain and Morocco over Spring Break 2010 for a political science course revolving around the Muslim identity of southern Spain and Morocco. One of my current professors, from Lebanon, is teaching the course. I am more than exhilarated to have the opportunity since I have really taken on a large interest in Islam and Arabic recently.

Also since the accident I applied for a couple of jobs and just found out I have federal work study funds. For those who do not know what that is-- it is something you can apply for as an American student and the US Government decides how much they will award you -- so basically its a set amount that you can work for. So I am working, starting this week, for the Anthropology Department for the Department Chair for International Studies :D I also applied for a position at Whole Foods- an organic grocery store.

More to come :D Here are some photos from Halloween!! Trying to keep in mind that those who voted would like to see more photos and future plans :D Keep voting and visiting my blog! We are up to 16 different countries- North America, Central America, South America, Africa, Northern and Southern Europe, Oceania, and Asia. GOOOD times- really enjoying it!

Awesome Police costume! Oh wait-- no that is an actual police officer breaking up the party.. with a smile on his face.

What do I do now?

2009-10-25T07:43:00.000-07:00

Martin and me at Elmer's Bar his last week before he left the states.

So Friday Martin and I drove down to Newark, NJ to go bring him to the airport. But before we went to do his check-in and those dreaded goodbyes- we went to IKEA for some lunch! It was just like old times meatballs, lingonberries, potatoes, and brown sauce. Tasted just like Sweden. To be honest I slightly wanted to cry because I miss Sweden so much. Martin and I were absolutely silent as we devoured our meals with absolute happiness. Even worse we went to the food section where they were selling yummy "godies" (aka sweets) and etc. Bilar, choklad, and Kex :D :D

Next to the airport. Martin checked in without a problem and after that we went down for a fika that would have to last a year.. Until next summer when Martin comes back for my mother's wedding. Bilar and coffee.. good times. Then off to the security gates. Goodbyes are goodbyes, they are never fun. There were some tears and lots of kramar (hugs for those non-Swedish speaking :P). Soon Martin was off to the security gates and I found myself yelling out HEJ DÅ KOMPISSSS (Goodbye bud)!

After crying my eyes out in my car.. lets be frank ha ha... I drove off to my old university in northern New Jersey hoping to see some old friends. But unfortunately everyone was working, at home or in one of the cities for the weekend. So I sat in the cafe right next to the bookshop and read some of my course readings while reminiscing in memories. Just waited around before I heard from my friend Rob, whom I had some feelings for freshmen year but also a good friend. Rob and I had plans to hang out later that evening, grab a bite to eat and catch up. Good times. In the mean time however I decided to drive out to my friend's job to see her since I have not seen her since the day before I left for Sweden, in other words over a year and some change ago.

See the next post for the next chapter of this post!

Martin's Last Week in the US Visiting Me!

2009-10-22T07:02:00.000-07:00

So it is Martin's (min fadder/my mentor from Växjö) last day here in the states visiting me. Crazy how fast a month went. Last night we went out to the bar off campus with some Japanese and Swedish friends and ended up meeting some of our Brazilian exchange students and some other American classmates /friends. We had a great time being completely ridiculously silly, laughing the whole night and just enjoying our time together. Currently I do not have photos documenting the evening, I believe I should have those later today or tomorrow.

This month has been a blast but it's time for Martin to return to Sweden and back to his schoolwork. Unfortunately the same is for me as well. Four research papers are quickly approaching and seem to have pretended to slip my mind as Martin has been here. Sadly once he is gone it is straight to the books I go. However this weekend I have a dinner party with my International Human Rights course and really looking forward to being with my classmates and professor outside of the classroom itself.

What else, ahh my mother had the Realtor looking at our house this week. My mom is trying to fix up anything in which the Realtor deemed necessary in order to put the house on the market to try to sell it. For those readers who do not know, my mother is getting re-married next summer and with that comes 3 new step-siblings. My mother's house is too small to fit our "Brady Bunch" family so they are searching for a new one right now. Surprisingly I am not upset about it, though I lived in that house for close to 19 years of my life. I think we all need a little change here and then and besides what is a house but a physical containment space for all your stuff. Am I correct?

Well off to class- more to come later! Keep checking in and remember to save my page as a favorite :P Haha I have really been enjoying seeing which countries have been entering my page so keep it up! Thus far: US, Canada, Mexico, UK, Sweden, Germany, Netherlands, Spain, Portugal, and South Korea.

Keep it up :D Also make sure to do the quick poll on the right-hand side of my page as well as leave a quick comment of hello and maybe what else you want to hear about with my next entry!

A month of wonderful reunions

2009-10-19T20:23:00.000-07:00

So I cannot believe that is almost been a month since Martin arrived to my shores. Time has fallen through our fingers and this Friday will be Martin's flight back to Sweden. We have done quite a bit of traveling since he arrived in the end of September, however I have been quite busy between school and hanging out with Martin- henceforth the extreme lack of posts. NYC, Boston, Newport and Montreal were some of the bigger city visits we did over the past month. It has been a blast but now we are both worn thin with exhaustion as well as now suffering from bad colds.

Being home at my mother's house now with minimal voice and lounging around until the caffeine gets out of my system... Life is pretty good anyways.

Martin helped me out so that I can track my blog usage a little more so I looked to see where people have been assessing my blog- USA, Canada and Spain. However those are just two day's worth since I did not start the actual tracking until yesterday. It is really cool if you ask me! Technology can really freak me out sometimes but this is quite amazing.

Ohh also I have been looking at apartments for December to August. A friend of mine and I toured an apartment last week and really liked the place a lot. The apartment was actually a townhouse- 2 floor brick apartment with hardwood floors and two bedrooms (and etc). Looking into loan options right now and then applying for the apartment. Very excited to see what comes of it. I love my roommate at university, however I cannot wait to get out of the university housing since I realize now just how horribly juvenile I feel being treated as if I were living at summer camp. Nothing against the school I just realize now just how different the American system is from the European systems.

See below for some more photos :D

David and me at a bar in Montreal

Driving up to Canada

Steffi and the giant wooden bear

My new Japanese friend, Tomoka, and I walking back from the bar off campus

Until next time!

Newport, NYC and Birthday Galore!

2009-10-14T17:55:00.000-07:00

So a lot has been going on! Picture post just to catch up with things:
-Newport, Rhode Island photographs
-Martin's 26th birthday
-NYC with Lindsay and Martin
-David's 23rd and my 21st birthday dinner and party photographs

One of the Newport Mansions

Looking out over the backyard of one of the mansions

Looking out over the backyard of one of the mansions

Martin's birthday dinner.. ha ha.. because the wait was too long at the restaurant

Lindsay and me on our way to Staten Island, NYC

David and my birthday dinner with friends and family

Birthday kompisar!

Friends at the bar off campus

Sorry!

2009-09-29T18:40:00.000-07:00

Man.. so much to talk about but no time. I apologize to my readers. My Swedish friend Martin arrived in the states and is staying with me for a month... so just trying to catch up with papers and reading then I will post stories, thoughts and photos.

Talk soon and thank you for reading my blog!

So much to do.. so little time.

2009-09-21T20:32:00.000-07:00

Ahh- okay its 23.32 (11.32 pm) here and I just started writing my paper (though it is not due until Wednesday). I am stressing out trying to get everything done that I need to have done before I leave to NYC for a long weekend. Martin arrives Thursday and I cannot wait for it but at the same time completely stressed out and hope that everything gets done in time. Do not want to go to NYC with a pile of books that will barely get read to be completely honest.

Anyways- just writing a paper now for my International Human Rights course but will only do half of it tonight. Then to bed. Classes all tomorrow but I need to go get my flu shot and skype call with Martin. Then sometime get wash done, pack, finish the rest of my paper, get some things done for my professor, read for my other classes and somehow get sleep. Ahhhh. I hope it all works out. Wednesday I am interviewing my professor, Chengiah Ragaven, for a school published newspaper. Should be really interesting though since he is a South African native and lived in exile for 25 years for trying to overthrow the government during the apartheid.

Anyways- just that quick update- now back to work so I can see some sleep this night :P Hope everyone is well!

The World We Have

2009-09-19T13:22:00.000-07:00

The World We Have is a book I am currently reading by a Buddhist monk by the name of Thich Nhat Hanh. If you have never heard about this man I really suggest you go out to your bookstore and look for his books. Something about his writing and his thoughts on "mindful living" is simply beautiful.

(Pictures are from an online source- not mine for copyright matters)

The reason for my mentioning of this book in my blog post today is to reflect on my lifestyle. I lead a spiritual lifestyle loosely around the Buddhist teachings. Never would I say I am a religious person since religion has only further divided our society and this intolerance has lead only into misinterpretation, pure hatred, and countless deaths due to violence and war.

Living a spiritual life I believe this has lead me to the realization that we all exist and should receive such treatment of universal human rights. Being a citizen of the world ultimately has made me realize just how important it is to be an advocate for human rights and mindful living.

So in response to this I realize I need to change a few things (at least in the beginning of this journey I am about to embark on) about my lifestyle. I will further this discussion when I have more time to really write.

Until then I leave you with this passage from The World We Have.

A tree reveals itself to an artist when the artist can establish a certain relationship with it. Someone who is not human enough may look at his fellow humans and not see them, may look at a tree and not see it. Many of us can't see things because we're not wholly ourselves. When we're wholly ourselves, we can see how one person, by living fully, can demonstrate to all of us that life is possible, that a future is possible. But the question, "Is a future possible?" is meaningless if we're not able to see the millions of our fellow humans who suffer, live, and die around us. Only after we've really seen them are we able to see ourselves and see nature.

(The World We Have, Pg 40-41)

2009-09-18T21:29:00.000-07:00

Oh school... how I have such a love hate relationship with you...

School is going well- Had to drop my math course because it was just too much to handle with all my other courses. International Terrorism, Weapons of Mass Destruction, Introduction to African American Studies, Reading (General Education Requirement), and International Human Rights... Man oh man. But it's good keeping me busy and really keeping me out of trouble. My reading takes up so much of my time that I have not really had the time to go out and be the "normal" college student. But it's kind of better in the long run. Hoping to do really well this semester in order to bring up my GPA and etc.

Below is a picture of my side of the dorm room. Swedish flag all the way :P ...and my multiple books (which you cannot see the extent of them since they continue behind my laptop and are in my desk as well) and please note the two Starbucks coffee cups ha ha.

Martin comes in less than a week and I am freaking out about it. When we parted ways when I moved out of Växjö, I cried like a young child and hugged him more than likely 15 times before I could actually get myself to leave campus that day. Already I warned him about the invasion of my hugs when I pick him up at the airport next week. Ahhhhh CANNOT wait. That boy is truly one of my closest friends in the world and I am so happy to know I have a month with him :D

Oh yes and I turn 21 in less than two weeks. I keep forgetting ha ha.

Pictures from the Semester thus far...

2009-09-15T06:49:00.000-07:00

Photos from my fall semester of my 3rd (Junior) year of university.

Bowling after International Relations Meeting.

Afghani Restaurant with IRC

Pre-drinks with an American friend, the Swedish boys at our German friend's apartment.

House Party.

School school school

2009-09-13T17:06:00.000-07:00

So much to even say - sorry for my lack of writing.

In a quick nutshell before I go back to my readings I just wanted to let you all know I am readjusting to the life here in the states. However I am a changed person and take it all into account when readjusting. Trying to lead a more spiritual life, rather than religious since we all know I am not a religious person ever since I was a young girl. Living in the present is something I have to remind myself, which is different from living in the moment (which I also am working on a little more but to a different degree).

I am really enjoying my studies this semester but there is just a lot of work involved outside of the classroom. Not a bad thing by any means, just I am not so used to this whole 6 classes at once. Stress is part of my weekly vocabulary now I feel as though. However I am also taking a class which focuses on stress relief by organizing and managing your time better. It's a big help thus far for sure. I know I have been really slacking with my meditation as well as yoga so I am going to start going here at the university since they have free classes every week for yoga. It's good since it will give me a more of a routine schedule for my practices.

Below are some photographs of around my home university:

Starting to meet some more exchange students at my home university- the Swedish boys of course but also started hanging out with a German girl as well as meeting some others through our International Relations Club at school. Really enjoying the atmosphere that surrounds the exchange life-- not even the partying factor but more of the living in the moment feeling that gives presence in each of their auroras. It is rather refreshing to be honest with you all.

Last night I volunteered myself to be the DD (otherwise known as the designated driver)since I have not been in the mood to really enjoy drinking these days. Anyways I drove some of my exchange friends to a party across town. It's rather silly because the police came to check id's so I had to run off with some others who were underaged as well and I felt so ridiculous and annoyed by it. Literally I was 100 percent sober, turning 21 in 2 weeks and was just watching out for others who were drinking while enjoying the company of friends. Yet some boy was telling me to follow him and telling me we had to go further and get into a wooded area in case the police were to drive around the neighborhood looking for "runaways". This boy (American, underage and had been drinking I may add) treated me as if I had never been in such a situation before and as if I was unintelligent by all means. I really just wanted to reach over and smack him square across the face as we crouched down in the woods waiting for the call to say we could return. Ahh I really just miss being able to sit in a pub and enjoy a nice cold beer and either dance or just being able to talk with friends. Hell I miss when it was acceptable to have a beer before 5 PM (17.00).

Anyways later when we were leaving the party to drive back to school I realized someone had hit my car and dented the side paneling to my driver's side door. I was just so mad at that point (not even for materialistic reasons) because I was just too tired and mad that the person who did it did not have the decency to tell me. But I soon realized people are people and it happens- rather to forgive when it can be forgivable because life is too precious to live a hateful lifestyle. On the way home from my aunt's today I saw a bad motorcycle accident on the highway which served as a huge reminder that life can be taken away within seconds.

Live a life of love and no regrets. Take risks because when you risk nothing you risk everything.

Peace and love,
me.

University stateside.. Not it is all cracked up to be.

2009-09-01T16:09:00.001-07:00

Ehh. Sorry I have not written in a little while. Things have been harder than I thought.

Late August was full of packing and reading for my fall course load. Just really getting ready to leave my mom's house and move again. I quickly realized that for the past 3 years I have been moving every 3-6 months. It's really horrible when you think about it. Even when I was in Sweden I moved-- packing everything to my name up into boxes and then physically moving it across the city (or in other cases, across state lines or country lines). In my last week of living at my mother's for the summer, a Swedish acquaintance of mine came to the states for his semester abroad at my university. I was so excited to have a Swede around... anyone international for that matter. But yes so I picked David up from the local airport and we drove back to my mother's house. My mother and her boyfriend were met us basically at the door, also very excited to finally meet a Swede. Anyways David stayed for the night and the next morning we drove down to our university in order to move him in. It was great being able to help someone else as much as Angelica did for me when I went to Sweden. Felt good you know?

Now that I am back in the dorms myself--

On a lighter note...

2009-08-22T03:39:00.000-07:00

Skypeee, how I love thee.

It's quite remarkable how far we have come with technology. The fact that I can talk through my computer on a phone call with friends who are even up to 12 hours ahead of me in time difference- it's really wonderfully amazing.

First I skyped with my little sister who just moved to Arizona for university. She was just giving me a tour of her dorm room and telling me about school so far.

My little sister and me this past April when she came to visit me in Sweden... and yes the darker hair one is my LITTLE sister. She is a little less than 2 years younger than me... you would never guess it though (so many people think I am the youngest).

(Proof I am the middle child.. and had chickpox.. ha)

Thennnnnnnnnn I skyped with Sammiejo and Cynthia- two American friends of mine that I met in Sweden when they also studied at Växjö University. Sammiejo recently moved to the Netherlands for her degree and Cynthia has been visiting for a month but heads back on Monday morning. It was so great to really catch up with them and to see them on video chat.. knowing all their limbs are attached and in the right places-- I guess there is just that comfort that just comes over you knowing they are alright.

MARLS- Got to skype call with her later in the day. My little Aussie love- Marly- is another friend I met at the university in Sweden. The woman is a completely amazing woman. So many times she would give me good advice, amazing meals and all around helped me out more than I probably deserved. A few times when I lived off campus and in the city she had let me crash on her couch and I had really appreciated it more than I had told her.

Anyways Marly is in the outback outback right now teaching in a mining town. Being from Perth she is more used to having the freedom to move around a bit more and interact with all different types of people. Yet now she finds herself in a situation where she needs some serious stimulation because there is not really anyone that she can connect with in this small town. She misses traveling and being around the different cultures and opinions. She told me last night (of course in her thick Aussie accent) that she just wanted to say the other night "WHO wants to have a discussion about religion, culture... anything?"... It was rather comical however because she had mentioned that while she was camping last week or so that a dingo had run off with one of her flip flops. After chasing the dingo into the bush he dropped her flip flop and ran off. I of course made a "Did a dinnngo eat your baby?" joke and she was soooooooo shocked I knew that one. She just died with laughter and of course in term made me lose myself in laughter.

Tack för kaffet

2009-08-21T14:35:00.000-07:00

Dual meaning on this one kids. Not only am I alluding towards the Timbuktu song meaning "thanks for the coffee"-- but I am also literally meaning it. Enjoying a nice cup of coffee in the comfort of my mother's home and just browsing the web. Coffee was much needed today because it's been a very up and down type of day.

Sometimes life gets us down...

I woke up late (I work 3rd shift so when I do get to bed at 6 am, I sometimes sleep until noon). That's all fine but I woke up and watched The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.

Even if you did not have family who was involved in this war in any shape or form-- it still affects us and the wound can sometimes feel fresh. When I visited Poland this past winter break I had the chance to go into the concentration camps in southern Poland, Auschwitz . I went not realizing to the extent the effect would have on me. I had heard stories of people entering the camp and having a strange staleness of the air and strange feeling coming over them, but this feeling is indescribable. The day I entered the camp the snow covered the ground, the feeling of happiness and joy had filled the air right outside the camp (it being the holiday season) and yet when we stepped foot in the camp everything went silent, air was almost un-breathable, the snow seemed to even have a dark shadow on it. Of course this is the effect we also contribute to but something about the camp and being there. Everything just seemed wrong.

I went in knowing my family had been part of the Holocaust victims, knowing that my family could of very possibly been standing exactly where I was at that moment just back some years. The thought of it had me in tears already. My German family had been lost in history and I knew barely anything about them due to the war. All I knew at this point was that my family who had not fled the country had been murdered for being Jewish. The story I was told as a child the week before my father had died himself was that his grandparents had been shot in front of his father at this doorsteps in Germany. His father had escaped and fled the country to later come to the United States- losing his German identity and name along the way in order to hide it away.

When the tour moved on to the crematorium (in the Birkenau work camp) I nearly could not even handle it. I double thought entering- thinking to myself that I could not miss this opportunity and to have it permanently in my memory. Yet the idea seemed to overwhelm me. But the tour continued on, it seemed without seemed as though no one else had given it another thought... so I followed- entering into one of the surviving gas chambers. First we went into the changing room and then from there into the actual chamber where the hydrogen cyanide crystals (which was originally manufactured as a strong disinfectant and for pest control) was dropped.

Next we walked into the crematorium room (I would be lying if I said I did not feel a panic myself about being in that room and the relief about actually leaving it alive).

All was overwhelming. At the end of the full tour I was walking back to the bus to go back to Kraków and I glanced back one more time. If I had not lost it enough already emotionally, that was for sure the icing on the cake. In that exact moment it finally hit home- My family had been a part in a genocide. A genocide. Genocide.

Genocide. How is it even possible? How does it even ever get to that point? Well there are several other examples from the these centuries ranging from the Armenian Genocide to the Genocide in Darfur.

What got me the most if not realizing my family had died in a genocide was that the village next to this death camp was literally within close range. So much that this camp was their backyard. And normal everyday people inhabited this town, not even just Nazis. Yet they lived there without possibly ever mentioning this. We can sit back and watch when it doesn't affect us- yet people are suffering and dying in our silence. Look at the world issues today- most of us in the Western society can just sit back and watch or even chose not to watch because it is just someone else. But really those "someone elses" are someone's mother, father, sister, brother, uncle, aunt, grandfather, grandmother and the list goes on. But most importantly, those "someone elses" are human. Like you and me...

Back to the film.. sorry... I advise you to see it. It's rather impactful-- had me in tears. But it really showed just how much one can choose to know the truth as well as hide from it (of course with the influence from the government/ involved parties).

But on a lighter note..

Sometimes life makes us high (natural one.. as in life is so wonderful that it makes you feel untouchable)...

And with that I have to go so I can eat dinner and feed my cat, Doodles (do not even ask haha).

Life is good

2009-08-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to: Iron & Wine Swams and the Swimming

Life is good these days.

Was just reading some for my courses at university this fall on the topics of international terrorism as well as racial profiling (not in the same book). Enjoying a cup of tea and the semi-muted talking in the background of my music of my mother and aunt while I write this entry.

Just reflecting right now over my life thus far as I look around my room in my mother's house- the house where I spent almost 19 years in. I don't know what about it but sometimes I think to myself how did I turn out this way and how come I accomplished a lot for my age yet at the same time feel like I have not accomplished anything I wanted to.

Never have I been one to boost, rather it seems to me karma is the right amount of pay off to be humble with your ways.

Maps of the United States as well as a world map hang on my walls as well as posters and plaques. My Swedish flag hangs the most proudly- signed by roommates and friends from abroad. It was a gift for my 20th birthday and one of the best birthday presents I have ever received. Not only does it serve as a decoration but also it reminds me of some of the best people I have met in my life, the memories, the friendships and the life lessons. All around it just brings a smile to my face. The bright blue and yellow remind me of the Swedish summer- illuminated and peaceful.

No idea where I am going with this post. Just needed a rambling outlet I suppose.

Cheers and hope all is well with everyone.

Marissa and Nicole REUNION :D

2009-08-08T18:16:00.000-07:00

Today I got an SMS from one of my American friends who studied in Sweden with me for the year. Marissa is a camp counselor for the summer and was in my area for a few hours so she wanted to meet up for a quick fika (:P). I was so excited to see her since I really miss everyone (hehe if you cannot tell already). Recently I have been talking with some of my friends in Spain who have been all traveling around as well as having reunions in Barcelona/Paris and etc. Although they have a smaller country- I have friends from exchange that are living semi-close by for the summer yet life just doesn't seem like it has been allowing for us to schedule a meeting.

Anyways so Marissa and I met today at a Dunkin'Donuts and we sat out in the sun and talked for awhile. She looked great (as always :P) and it made me extremely happy to see that. We both had said we missed Sweden a lot and were frustrated by things here in the US quite a bit. Overall we just missed our friends and the way of life that we had in Sweden. She told me about her plans to move to Spain in the fall to teach English since she was just recently accepted to a program there. Of course I was overly jealous of her and having the chance to do it.. as well as to get out of the US but really just glad that she had the chance to do what she wants to do while still advancing professionally. The visit was quick but exactly what we both needed. A quick reassurance that life goes on after a year of studying abroad.

Next time we will see each other-- we will meet in Barcelona for New Years and have a reunion with some other friends from our Swedish Adventures :D A little less than 5 months!

Marissa and myself on the university lawn in Sweden- grilling.. I swear its warmer than it looks :P

Today was a good day.

2009-08-07T19:10:00.000-07:00

Nothing really out of the ordinary but today just felt like a good day. Yesterday was rough and tearing away at my sanity.

Note to self: Need intellectual simulation. Read fall coursework in order to be in tip top shape in measures of sanity and maybe even up a notch in intellectual standards.

Top of my reading list for this week-
1. Race Matters, written by Dr. Cornel West*

*Upon finishing will post a blog entry on my thoughts of the book and author.

And with that- hope you all sleep well and expect a post tomorrow evening :D Hej då!

Breaking Up a Party / Realizations

2009-08-06T03:45:00.000-07:00

So this past weekend I was house sitting for my soon-to-be step father. He as well as his two daughters and my mother were away for the weekend in Vermont on vacation. His son however was not on the trip and for this reason I was asked to house sit for Bob (my mother's fiancee's name). So I said no problem and with that took my partial death sentence (figuratively of course)...

The afternoon they were leaving, we all got together and went out to lunch at our favorite all day breakfast place. My older sister and her boyfriend were up for the weekend since they had a reunion for Tom's family to attend. So it was the whole family plus the step family (minus one of the daughters who was babysitting). It was a nice meal. Bob had brought up the house sitting in the discussion over the meal and his son had commented on that he should be the one house sitting... I just laughed to myself since I knew there would be no house left if that had been the case.

When I arrived that night to stay over the house and to make sure no parties were at the house... what did I arrive to in my surprise?? A party.

I was so annoyed at that point since all I wanted to do was to go to bed at this point since I still had to work at 2 am the next morning delivering newspapers. So when I parked my car and got out- I was shaking with anger. Bob's son came out to stop me in the driveway and with his very fake innocent speech asked me what I was doing coming over at this time of night. I gave him my cell phone (which had his father on hold) and I stepped around him (who was blocking me from getting into the door). While he talked with his father I entered the house to see about 6 other teens sitting around drinking and doing other such illegal actions. Recognizing some of the faces since I went to high school with their siblings- I called them out on it and you could see how embarrassed and scared they were.

Some of the kids gave me trouble- as if what to say what business is it of yours to be here and breaking up this "get together". One of them even started talking to me about how I used to be in these situations of going out to parties during high school. My response. Times have changed, I've matured, this is my step-father's house and its my responsibility for the weekend to make sure his son doesn't end up in this situation that we have at our hands right at this very moment. My next thought. Why the hell should I respect this "step brother" of mine and let him even think he could pull this over on me??? He will never be my step-brother. He is just one of those people I will never want anything to do with and I can honestly say it. It's sad but the truth.

Anyways - I broke up the party, told the kids to stop what they were doing and told them to clean up and leave. But of course once they were leaving I asked them all if they had been drinking (the drivers). They told me they had not yet been able to drink since I "ruined" their night so early... but it still made me nervous. I hate the idea of people driving under any form and level of intoxication. Bob's son left with them but before he did he through the box to his pack of beer on the middle of the yard when I said I could take it for him to get rid of. How disrespectful do you get? I could of easily drove by the house and just called the police.

Ehh. But I understand- it's high school. The days of sneaking around and throwing house parties while parents were away is not such a distant memory. However I have matured a bit more than a lot of my classmates. Even during high school I was matured in the eyes of others beyond my years. When I moved to Sweden when I was 19-- people just assumed I was around 23 - 25 years old. It is just interesting I guess looking back and thinking how it really was not that long ago I was in similar shoes. Just so glad I am not there any longer and can honestly say I do not miss those days.

Lobster Fest 2009

2009-08-04T04:16:00.000-07:00

LOBSTER FEST 2009 - MYSTIC, CONNECTICUT

Every year my mother's family has a Lobster Fest in Southern Connecticut at one of my cousin's lake house. Cooking lobsters in a big fire pit in the backyard- grilling vegetables- floating beer cooler in the lake- boating- swimming- family- laughs. Good times all around. Some photos below!

Officially a Expat Blogger

2009-07-31T07:00:00.000-07:00

So I finally made it to become an official Expat Blogger! Excited about it because it will hopefully bring in some more traffic and readers to my blog. Not that my blog is ever that interesting but I think it is really neat how people blog and people from the other side of the world follow their blog just because they feel like it. It is quite a beautiful thing if you ask me. It is like having a personal and upfront seat to someone's thoughts but sometimes not even knowing the person who's thoughts those belong to. You can learn a lot about a person and their culture by just observing their blog. I thoroughly enjoy it.

For more information about Expat- please visit: http://www.expat-blog.com/ or click on my suitcase located on the right column below my pictures and short biography.

For new and old readers- I appreciate you for following my blog by every entry as well as those who read it once in awhile. Just to know someone reads it because they want to- like I said before- it's beautiful.

Memory Lane- What my summer should consist of.. but memories will have to do this time..

2009-07-29T03:00:00.001-07:00

Nature adventures with good friends.

Silly but fun nights at the local bars.

Being able to enjoy a nice cold beer and a swim midday.

Enjoying an evening at the bar with my roommates.

Enjoying an evening at the bar with some Erasmus friends.

Preparties before every night out with people from all corners of the world.

Traditional food :P haha.

Trains.

Enjoying the peace of nature.

FIKA :D

Enjoying the local cuisine hahaha.

Being able to met people when traveling solo and having a blast.

Reunions with close friends.

Not having a care in the world and enjoying the beautiful weather.

Knowing that goodbyes are never final when your bonds are as close as these.

Overall just knowing that this statement is nothing short of how I feel.

Little bit of that, a little bit of this...

2009-07-25T16:01:00.000-07:00

Oh summer. This summer has been possibly the most boring summers of my life. BUT I am being rather productive and also not spending much money which is good in the long run.

Tonight no one is home as usual. Erin is working. Mom's out with her fiancee and his family. I am sitting here. Glass of wine. Blogging and not sure what else I can do before I go to bed. Work in the early early AM makes it very difficult to go out or go to the cities to see friends.

So let's break it down into my rambles of the evening... starting off with work...

Working now delivering newspapers for a state wide newspaper. Working extremely early mornings (2 AM) seven days a week has it's pros and cons attached to the position. But overall it is money so I cannot really complain. Please it keeps me busy enough to semi keep my sanity for the boring summer. Not only that but the job has taught me very quickly that I cannot think too highly of myself with the mindset that I am better than any job. A job is employment. But then again money is not money. If that makes any intellectual sense.

Seems so strange to me that when I was a child summer was everything to us. Summer meant freedom and not having to worry about school. Staying out late, going to camp and not caring-less about anything. This summer could not be further from those childhood memories. Things are going quite quickly however so I am happy to report that I will be moving into my university dormitory in 32 days.

With that being said- I am applying...again... to University of Ghana for the spring semester/winter semester. My acceptance was for the academic year (09-10) directly with UG however I was unable to receive any financial assistance including the extreme lack of private student loans in the US. It's really frustrating having the acceptance letter in my hands and having to decline when this has been 2 years of hard work trying to go there. I would be lying if I said there were not tears as I wrote the e-mail to the University of Ghana's International Office informing my declination.

Now I am in the process of applying with another university in the states with one of their study abroad programs to Ghana. This way I am able to receive financial aid from both the US government as well as take out private student loans.

It is very discouraging but at the same time I must turn it around and look at the issue from another perspective and realize that after this attempt I will have been trying to go to Ghana for 3 full years and had 3 amazing attempts at it. Without trying to sound over confident but there are not many people my age that find themselves with similar lifestyles to mine that try this hard to achieve similar dreams. I want this opportunity so badly that at this point if selling my kidney gets me the money/this chance, I would actually literally think about it. Haha.

What else can I fill you all in on...hmmmm....

Familia is all grown up.. Or close to it

2009-07-18T11:19:00.000-07:00

Amie's graduation, Erin's graduation, my mother looking at houses with her fiancee, Amie getting a "real life" career job, Amie moving into a house and etc. It's non stop. It's crazy to think soon my little sister is moving across the country for university. Below are some photos from Virginia when we visited my big sister Amie and her boyfriend Tom. Also photos from Erin's high school graduation and grad party.

Beach

2009-07-18T10:50:00.000-07:00

Beach DAY! Went with friends from my hometown and met with Cheryl (American friend I met in Sweden) and her sister to a beach in Rhode Island. It was a lot of fun though I was burnt when I got home on my ankles and back on my legs. Not fun. Some photos below.

Summer summer aka work read sleep work read sleep

2009-07-12T12:32:00.000-07:00

So I apologize for not blogging for sometime now. Life has been hectic- aka not at all just rather boring. After coming back from VA I have not done too much. I went into a bit of reverse culture shock and hid for awhile so I did not have to see anyone from my hometown. It is a lot harder than I had expected.

But in the meanwhile Martin my Swedish buddy booked his flights to come to the states in the end of September to the end of October to be with me and travel around. Very excited for this. He is one of my best friends and I adore the kid. It's just funny because whenever I mention him coming to anyone they automatically think we are dating. I just laugh and reply with, "If I enjoyed incest maybe hahaha." The boy is like my brother for goodness sake!

Also I went down to NYC for July 4th to see one of my best friends from my hometown, Lindsay.

winkinsmart.blogspot.com

She had come up the weekend prior but we only got to see each other for a night but we laughed so much. Ryan, her ex-boyfriend but still a good friend of hers and a friend of mine, also drove up from his parents to see us and ended up sleeping over since we had been drinking vino and just enjoying each others company. Anyways- I took a bus down to the city to see her. We met in Manhattan and she showed me her office- Sweet 180.

www.sweet180.com/index.html

It was simply amazing! I am very proud of her success thus far and know her future will be extremely for filling if she keeps on her path.

After that we went out for sushi (yum) and then headed to Brooklyn to her apartment. It was so nice and cozy! She shares an apartment with her boss and the boss' familia but it was 3 story apartment with a backyard and very nice. Anyways because it was 4th of July weekend we were able to have BBQ's and just relax and enjoy life. Saturday night we went to our friend Max's apartment on the west side of Manhattan and then preceded to go out to the bar to see an friend of mine from home who happened to also be in the city that day

Here are some photos:

(Below: Empire State Building-- Red White and Blue lighting)

Since I have been back in the US...

2009-07-01T11:59:00.000-07:00

Since I have been back in the US I have been quite busy for not having a job.

The day after I got back, the 10th of June, Cheryl came up to my hometown to visit. Cheryl studied in Sweden with me first semester. It was really great to see her and catch up. It was so good to have a "Swedish" friend around to keep my sanity and help with the readjustment. Here are some photos:

The next morning my younger sister, my mom, my mother's fiance and I drove 9 hours down to Virginia to see my older sister and her boyfriend. My older sister, Amie, had her graduation from Dental Assistant's school. Here are some photos:

Reverse Culture Shock

2009-06-18T13:52:00.001-07:00

So my first weeks back living at my mom's house in my small hometown proved to be harder than I had expected and a lot harder than culture shock itself.

Reverse culture shock was hard for me to deal with. I never really cried about being back in the United States after I had landed in the US. But the horribly familiar feeling of depression seemed to have gotten my better side of the me for the first few weeks. It was rough- I felt not only that I missed Sweden but I also feelings of withdrawal and disengagement. Everything the books and online websites tell you it will be..

So some of my other friends who also stayed the year did not seem to suffer like this. I was puzzled why this was the case but soon realized it might be because Sweden was my home. There is a difference between saying (both in reference to our Swedish apartments) "I am going home" and "This is home". Sweden and especially Växjö and Swedish culture all around was something I adapted to without a problem. Sweden meant different things to each and every one of us-- so that is not meant in a negative way just something I am pondering. My culture shock was slim, most of the shocks just were funny small things and a small percentage were a bit more frustrating and confusing.

Reverse culture shock can be broken down into four stages:

1.Disengagement
2.Initial euphoria
3.Irritability and hostility
4.Readjustment and adaptation

At some points there were very specific culture shocks when I came back to the US- just to mention a few: stores being open later, processed food and feeling sick, driving everywhere, lack of languages and hearing English too much (including bad and silly conversations I do not want to be able to understand), keys to my house being so small, mannerisms (including people making eye contact to the point where it makes me feel uncomfortable/ notice they are staring at me) and others...

When reading about it online there were a few things that stuck me as interesting and I wanted to point them out now.

a."Depression, feeling like a stranger at home, and the longing to go back abroad are also not uncommon reactions. You may also feel less independent than you were while abroad."--- This is interesting since when returning home my mother told me the only rule for the summer with me living at her house was to tell her if I was not coming home at night so she would not have to think about it. Yet is it not funny that I feel this awkward feeling of "this just isn't my home anymore". I lived in this house my whole life until I moved around to different universities- living in different dorms during college and would live here during the summer months again. Yet why now do I feel as though I am only visiting for a short vacation? I realize I miss having my own place, I miss cooking for myself and I miss budgeting my money in order to go shopping for food, school books and etc. I miss being able to be completely independent and weirdly enough being in a foreign country without anyone I had known for more than 8 months prior to moving.

Let me explain myself on that one- I love my family, I love my friends from my hometown and the US but there is something about living outside the country and knowing I am completely alone and free in my own kind of life. I missed my family in a way when I was away but the beauty of the internet and Skype made it feel like I was just in another state and unable to come back to visit during the holidays. I think one day I will be living in another country, one other than the US. Life is too short to be spending it in a feeling of non-fulfillment. US's culture was never one I felt close to and never really related to - at least from my view point thus far.

b."The important thing is to try to incorporate the positive aspects of your international experience while abroad with the positive aspects of your life at home in the United States."--- As this is a good point, I just do not want to think yet of my home being the US.. not just yet. I view myself right now as a world citizen.. my citizenship doesn't bind me to a nation.

American Soil

2009-06-18T05:15:00.001-07:00

June 9, 2009 (continued..)
So like I said- I was so happy to be an American by citizenship at this point. As I looked at the huge line at passport control I was amazed at this huge line thinking, "Well my mom will be waiting for awhile." Then I saw the sign amongst all the people that it was for non-American passports and I was soooooooooooo stoked at this point just too tired. I wanted to just get to my mom waiting on the other side. So I walked into the American passport line and was served within 3 minutes and within a minute got to go to baggage claim.

The rest of the process went smoothly- partly because I had a 5 dollar bill in my wallet randomly and could get a cart for my bags- otherwise I would of been screwed.. Though it did not give me back my five dollars when I returned it-- that was the first reverse culture shock- In Sweden it would of been free or you give a small deposit and you get the money back. Cheapo American capitalist!! Haha

Anyways my mom was waiting at the exit of customs and she waved waiting for me to cart all my stuff over and she cried. I missed her a lot and was always so thankful for the support she gave me while abroad. She has always been such a strong woman and I have admired her truly for it.

We loaded the car and of course- right across the way I saw IKEA and wanted to stop. Haha my mother told me no- as if to say, "Screw you Sweden- I just got my daughter back after almost of year of you having her."

Never-the-less the car ride took more than 3 hours to get back to my mom's. We stopped to have lunch at a sandwich shop. I noticed next door was a smoke shop and on a sign they showed the new line of "Snus" that Camel is marketing in the states. I had to go in and buy a can since Sweden is notorious for their snus*. Anyways it was horrible in comparison but it was just funny to try since Martin and I had discussed it for so long.

Tobacco was never really my thing but I found it so interesting how the Swedish male population (even now some females) are using- all generations. The amount of lung cancer in Swedish males has decreased massively and since snus isn't created like regular chewing tobacco ingredients. So it hasn't shown similar issues as chewing tobacco with the gums either.

Snus: a moist powder tobacco product that is consumed by placing it under the lip for extended periods of time. It is used in a manner similar to American dipping tobacco, but typically does not result in the need for spitting. Snus is also unique in that it is steam-cured rather than fire-cured, is not fermented and contains no added sugar. The sale of snus is illegal in the European Union, but due to exemptions, it is still manufactured and consumed primarily in Sweden and Norway.

(Swedish Snus)

(American Snus)

Venture back to the US of A

2009-06-17T19:48:00.000-07:00

June 9, 2009
Waking up early in the morning was not even the hard part.. Having to throw out many things because my checked in bags were overweight, again not even the worst of it. The sitting in my seat on the plane, buckled in and waiting to take off killed me. I cried so hard thinking about the year, how beautiful it was and how I had really stepped out of my comfort zone just to make a new one here in Sweden along with a new life. I felt so comfortable and at ease in this country. I cried during take off- screaming in my head, "I want to stay.. I want to stay.. I love you Sweden I love you I love you Swedeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen. F** f** f**."

View from the airplane.. when the tears started flowing.

Once we took off and had been in the air for ten or twenty minutes the tears ended. I spent the rest of the flight looking out the window, pondering what life will be like over the summer and watching countless movies.

I landed a half hour ahead of schedule. At that point I was happy to have American citizenship so it was a fast process through passport control and customs.

Last Day in Sweden

2009-06-10T07:52:00.000-07:00

June 8, 2009
So my last morning in Växjö was spent in the library having fika with friends then off to Tufvan for another fika with Anna. It was so nice just relaxing and talking as if it was just any other day. Then I got back to my place and realized I still had SOOOOOOO much to do.

Martin came over and laughed at me when he realized it too. He asked me what I had been doing all week that I did not get more packed/cleaned. I had worked on it but there was so much to do.

Anyways I underestimated and cleaned just in time for when Nicolina arrived. I had a few people pop in to say goodbyes so that was nice.

Afterward we packed the car and I said goodbye to Emil, Nicklas and Martin. I hugged Martin like five times before I could say the actual goodbye. I cried and cried in the car, just telling Nicolina how much it sucked. She, having lived in the states for a year, knew exactly what I meant. It is very difficult on one trying to just tell your mind that you are leaving though you may keep telling yourself.

We drove up to the water tower so let out some frustration before I boarded the train. Under the water tower you are able to whisper/talk/scream and it echoes madly. I was just in such shock- thinking this will be the last time I am on campus or even seeing campus for a long time... Not seeing Martin for a year at least and etc. Nicolina and I screamed a bit- felt somehow a little better temporarily.

We got to the train station and meet with Alisha and soon the train arrived. We boarded and said our goodbyes with Nicolina, Ayami and others who were there. I cried so hard saying goodbye. Nicolina and me hugged for awhile and I just started realizing this would be my last time seeing my city (at least for awhile). I sat with Alisha and just balled my eyes out. It's hard leaving your comfort zone- I left mine in the States to just move into my next comfort zone. But leaving this new one was a lot harder than I expected.

I said goodbye to Alisha in Alvesta, it was hard to do. I could still see her across the tracks and had to wait like that since we had to take different trains, in different directions. As I stood there next to my huge overweight bags I thought about my year in Sweden, how much I love Sweden and how much I want to move back if I was to ever raise children. Sweden is a place to raise children for sure.

Boarded my train and arrived in Stockholm around 20.40. Angelica met me in Stockholm Central and we jumped on the metro to her apartment. Joel met up with us and we walked to a Thai restaurant close by to Angelica's. The three of us enjoyed a really nice Thai dinner (thanks Angelica :D) and talked a lot. Anna met up with us and then we went back to Angelica's to hang out. I showed the Swedes my scrapbook that I had started on my life in Sweden. They really enjoyed it which made me really happy.

Goodbyes were done- I had to reconfigure my bags since they were a bit overweight and etc. So when I thought I had done enough Angelica and I went to bed. It was so nice sleeping in "my room" at Angelica's - it had been my room away from both homes yet it felt like one of my home bases while I was in Sweden. Right as those thoughts passed through my mind a wave came over me and I was fast asleep...

Last Full Day in Växjö

2009-06-07T00:40:00.000-07:00

June 7, 2009
Well it is that time already... the last full day in my apartment, at my university and in my city in Sweden. I cannot believe it has already been one year. Feels only as if it has been a few months.

A lot to do today. Woke up at 08.30 and talked with a friend of mine from Germany for a little while. Did some dishes that had been sitting in my room and screamed clean me! Haha now looking around and trying to decide my plan on action.

Still so much is needed to be packed I feel.. But really when I look now I think I can fit most of it without leaving behind to too much that I had intended on bring back with me. I took down all my pictures and etc from my walls as well as my bright blue curtains.. Looking around its so bare. All that is left to take down is my Swedish flag... but I think it will be the last thing I take down late tonight or tomorrow morning.

Going to enjoy my tea, shower and then schedule laundry for later tonight.

More to come later :P

--I moved my friend Sammiejo out and once I said goodbye to her at her bus in the city center I went to my best friend/min fadder's (Martin) clothing shop to chat with him. He was quite busy so I met up with my Turkish friend Huseyin for fika (coffee and chat) at my favorite cozy spot in the city center. It felt so weird knowing that tomorrow I am leaving.

After fika I met up with Martin again and we went off to an early dinner at Akropolis. It is a Greek Restaurant I used to live near last semester that I always had wanted to try but never had the chance. Eating out is very expensive in Sweden in comparison with the United States.

But we treated ourselves and had:

Förrätt/Starter
Räkcocktail/Shrimp cocktail

Varmrätt/Main course
Filé mignon black & white. Oxfilé och fläskfilé med bearnaisesås och rödvinssås/Fillet of beef and pork with bearnaise & red wine sauce.

Dessert
Crépes fyllda med vaniljglass, chokladsås, persikohalvor och vispad grädde.
Crépes with vanilla ice-cream, chocolate sauce, peach halves and whipped cream.

Last Stallarna Night

2009-06-06T08:47:00.000-07:00

Last night at Stallarna. Crazy. Stallarna is one of the three student bars my university has and Stallarna is known for its mixture of Swedish and exchange students (whereas the other bars usually have a very biased view). I am in such shock that the year is almost done for me here and I leave Växjö in 2 days exactly.

Martin had me in tears when he pulled me out to the outdoor smoking area to tell me some of the nicest compliments I have ever received in my life. Same with my classmates in my programme (Peace and Development) from last semester. I realized how many close friends I have made over the last year and that is what keeps me smiling.

But I am getting ready I think for leaving Monday.. Just TRYING to finish more of my scrapbook so I do not have all this extra weight in my bag of stuff I could of just thrown out. I have so many papers too to scan and store on my hard drive so I do not have to bring any papers/notes/print offs home with me. One bag is officially packed, the other one is halfway. Carry-on is waiting until I am Monday morning I think.

My walls are quite empty now.. kind of strange.

Trips: Preston, England

2009-06-06T05:56:00.001-07:00

November 2008: Took a flight to Preston, England with one of my Swedish friends to visit with some friends who studied in the US with us.

Trips: Tallinn, Estonia

2009-06-06T05:44:00.001-07:00

November 2008: Took a ferry from Stockholm, Sweden to Tallinn, Estonia.

Trips: Gotland, Sweden

2009-06-06T05:32:00.001-07:00

September 2008: Gotland is the largest island of Sweden and located on the east coast of Sweden, in the Baltic Sea.

Update

2009-06-04T12:20:00.000-07:00

So in the spirits of this blog revival I decided to look follow others blogs in order to get into the feel for the "frequent" blogger. Haha. I have a life I promise!

Anyways and update on life: I move out of my apartment here in Sweden in 3 days. Flying to the US in 4 days. Going to visit my older sister and her boyfriend in Virgina in 6 days for her dental school graduation. Then my little sister graduates from high school and family parties.

Recently I found out that I was officially accepted to go as an international visiting student to University of Ghana for one academic year. I have not really exposed that yet to people yet back in the states.. Only some family and my friends here in Sweden. Not sure why it's been a semi-secret. Think I want to get back and see people's faces when I tell them. Internet can be impersonal. But then again I do not really see the point for me caring so much- I think I just like the shock factor more.

Anyways I need to conduct a lot of research over the summer for Ghana- there are so many different aspects to look into.

Swedish life is good- cannot believe it ends soon. Marissa, one of my American friends who has also been here the year, leaves tomorrow morning. Emily left Wednesday. Alisha and me are on the same train (just to Alvesta) on Monday.

In the mean time, just packing up my apartment and enjoying the last weekend I have in Sweden. It's going to be really strange to say goodbye to Martin, Nicolina, Angelica, Joel and all others I have grown extremely close with while I have been here. Hmm.. Not looking forward to it.

Will keep you posted :D

Half a year later

2009-05-27T08:37:00.000-07:00

So it is rather comical that I am trying to revive my blog now.. after my Swedish adventures end in less than two weeks. However I think that this is much needed.. at least for me to keep my sanity over the summer at home..haha

more to come.

Reasons Why I am a Horrible Blogger:

2008-11-15T10:35:00.000-08:00

1) I never update. Which is clearly apparent.
2) I never add photos. Which is CLEARLY APPARENT due to the lack of color between all the text.

So I am saying my "sorries" again and trying to mend my bad habits. November is my traveling month so I rarely have my computer with me. I do however have a lot to write. Stories of Estonia/Seabattle, Reunions in the UK, Ventures to Latvia and soon to be Dog MY-30-Hour-Train-Ride-to-the-North-of-Sweden-to-go-Dog-Sledding-and-See.. (enough with the dashes) the Northern Lights.

Hope all is well with my patient readers...which are far few too many nowadays haha.

The month of October

2008-10-29T10:36:00.001-07:00

Well this entry is more than necessary. I apologize for the delay but this month has passed by so quickly and with projects, papers and lectures, it seems to just be a blur looking back upon it. I am not exactly sure where to even pick up from in order to give you a month’s worth of information. So bare with me :P

In the month of October, I had Angelica visit and we had so much fun hanging out in Växjö together. It was great finally having my own visitor here even though she is from Sweden and been to the school once before. I have yet to be actually homesick, but it can get hard being that others are able to have visitors more easily than us North Americans. Angelica arrived by train from Stockholm and we went out into town to fika so we could catch up on the last month and a half of when we had last seen each other when I was living with her for a week in Stockholm. So much had changed since I left Stockholm to come down to university and my new life. It was not that long ago but in exchange months it felt like it had been ages since you change so much in a short period of time. You have to in order to adjust to your new life in another culture.

Anyways, I brought her back to my flat and we cleaned up before we went out for the night to the Red Themed Party at a fellow exchanger’s flat on campus. We drank and enjoyed our evening filled of red shirts, red capes, red lipstick and red umbrellas.

The next day, we hung out with Emmelie, Angelica’s friend at my university. We also took a great nature walk and had a Swedish dinner back at my place. We also made American Rice Krispie Treats for my flatmates since we had an International Dessert Night. It was all too funny when no one understood what a marshmallow was and I had to explain it.

In the month of October, I had realized how much I had grown into an adult already. I have literally made the physical step into adulthood when I turned 20 years old one month ago. But mentally I have just extended over the last stretch since I realized I was no longer a teenager. It’s a strange feeling for sure. I think my mother has realized it now too when I informed her I got my lip pierced without her consent when I was in Gothenburg. I knew she would be upset but I did it for myself. I never meant for it to spite her, rather for my own personal growth. I think it has as well. The lip piercing and being completely honest with her about it was as though it was the last extent of my leap into adulthood. It may sound crazy but it makes total sense to me.

Speaking of which, I was in Gothenburg a couple of weeks ago. It was nice just to get out of my city to see other parts of Sweden. We met up with our friend Joel and it was so great seeing him. I love that boy. He is definitely one of my best Swedish friends so I am always very excited to see him. He also came up last weekend to Växjö and surprised me by waiting inside our student bar he knew I was coming to that night. Even though I figured it out when I was in the queue that he was there I was still very happy. I jumped into his arms when I saw him and gave him the biggest hug. Then we danced the night away with all our friends. It was a good night :P

In November I will be traveling to the following countries: Estonia, UK, Lativa and the North of Sweden. Cannot wait. I leave this Sunday for Tallin, Estonia and from there I will be going to Stockholm for a night with Angelica and then we will go to the UK to visit our friends :D Until then this will have

Karlshamn Sweden and etc

2008-10-06T04:22:00.000-07:00

Friday, I woke up feeling a bit off due to my cough as well as a few other things. So I treated myself to a little shopping spree and bought a new purse (much needed due to biking and no basket), a pair of earrings, and three dress shirts. I bought another shirt but I decided to return it. But you have to love H&M since it is so cheap in comparison to the other shops here. It’s the tax that kills it here. Everything is taxed by 25 percent. But anyways, it made me feel a lot better. I miss having a closet full of clothes—here I am getting sick of what I do have already and it’s only a month and a half in. Oh well. Friday was also my fadder, Martin’s, 25th birthday. We celebrated by going out to a friend’s apartment on campus and hanging out until we went to Stallarna, one of our student pubs. It was great going out with Martin since we have both been busy with life and haven’t gone out much since the start of the semester. Together with Willie, Cheryl, Amy, Emily and other various friends we danced the night away. Then the girls and I slept over Emily’s and hung out with some of our fellow American guy friends until five AM when the post man was coming around to Lyan haha. Saturday when I woke up around 11 AM, I made my way back to my flat. Got ready and then the girls and I met up at the train station. We hitched a ride with one of Joel’s friends and drove down to Karlshamn, Sweden. It was so beautiful when we arrived, minus the smell of the vegetable oil company in the town. But we went down to the ocean and the girls and I walked into town. Joel’s friends soon arrived and the party started and lasted all night :D We had two dj’s spinnin’ all night which was really cool :P Everyone was so nice to us. Pictures online if you would like to see them. I talked to my mom on the telephone which was great. I was sitting outside on the side of the cobbled street on the phone with her just catching up. I love when we talk.. it reminds me of how lucky I really am to be here. I miss the family I do, but it feels undescribly great to be living on a whole other continent by myself. I feel quite mature with that being the case. Anyways the next day we just hung around and got some food and then drove by to Vaxjo. I chatted with my flatmates for awhile and then went to bed. Today I booked my tickets to England in November :D :D :D

Update

2008-10-01T03:28:00.000-07:00

Currently I am trying my hardest to get a portion of my paper done that is part of my group's paper. I know exactly what I want to say but having the hardest time putting it into "intelligent" words. Haha my life story I feel as though. Anyways- things are really great here in Sweden. I just got back from a weekend in Gotland Sweden (island off the coast of Sweden). Photos and story to come later tonight after Swedish class. But yes I turned 20 this weekend so now I am legal to buy hard liquor here the country which is quite exciting. More to come later. Back to the books I go.

Cold September afternoon in the lib

2008-09-17T06:23:00.000-07:00

My class finished at 13:00 but I figured I would stay on campus for the remainder of the day on account of the events tonight. My friend Linnea is hosting a Crayfish/Crabfish Dinner Party. No idea what to expect- all I can tell you this far is that I was afraid to even open the large bin in the supermarket downtown to buy them. When I saw Linnea this morning in class, we realized I purchased crayfish- which look more like shrimp, versus crabfish that look like small lobsters. Haha. Excited for this little Swedish meal tonight since there will be a wide span of people attending. So far it's been difficult meeting people since most of the first few weeks were spent in the bar/club scene. I have made some really great connections although, even early on in my first few days so I was very lucky. Needless to say though, it never hurts to meet more and tighten the bonds :D

After Linnea's I might go to Lyan 61 which is a flat on campus which is known for it's parties (mostly due to my crazy Aussie friend Talitha whom I talked to quite a bit before moving here). After Lyan - one of the student bars, Sivans will be open. Not really a fan of this bar in particular but when it has good music it fun just to dance the night away surrounded by good people.

My fadder/mentor Martin sent me some songs and I like this quote a lot-- reminds me of Sweden thus far--

"Everyday we pave the way for endless nights of dancing and every night we fire our minds and liberate our souls, a home away from home, a place we can go and be free," --Above and Beyond (album Sirens of the Sea)

_________________________________________________________________

It's so crazy sitting in class here- I was thinking about it- how this school is such a fit for me. Transfering back to CCSU and then from there going on exchange to Sweden- I couldn't be happier with my decisions. Sitting in class here and just listening to such worldly opinions on global matters, it's breath taking. I mean that in the most non-corny way possible as well. People in my programme are from: Sweden, USA, France, Germany, Austria, Turkey, Cameroon, and etc. It's just so interesting to listen to all their thoughts and see where they are going with things.

I love this Swedish system of programmes and etc. It will be hard to go back to the American way.

Life so far in Sweden

2008-09-15T06:18:00.000-07:00

So its been way too long since my last post. My apologies!

Life here in Sweden has been so busy with: getting settled in; meeting over 400 other exchangers; cultural differences; new classes; new way of life.

It is just so crazy being away from home 4,000 miles but I love it. It gives you a certain freedom of life. Today I met up for a quick fika with my Aussie friend Marly before I went to class. We were discussing traveling and I was afraid of not using the time I have here wisely. Marly reminded me that I live in Sweden now and that I am not on vacation. It's so true and I forget it. I am living in this country for 10 months. I don't have all the time in the world, but I am not on vacation.

Anyways- decided to make a list of things I love about Sweden:
1. The fact that they have "WC" or water closets for the public in town -- just look for signs saying WC
2. I live a three minute walk from a 2 kabob and Thai restaurants
3. I can see a lake, cathedral and castle from my view
4. My program of classes is amazing.
5. The fact that I can have a talk with anyone here and for the most part they understand English and my American accent

Sweden so far

2008-08-24T09:56:00.000-07:00

Making an album of photos online for those non facebook'ers to use to see photos of where I am visiting. So right now I am not going to attach any to this post, so that I can just catch up with everything.

Anyways after the whole bathroom situation in the airport, Angelica and I had some issues with my bags. We had to get on and off the bus with them (thanks to the boy who helped us with the bags on the bus). But then we walked a few blocks with them which wasn't too bad. Why did I pack so much is the question. Oh well.. toooo late now haha.

So the past few days we have hung out and "chillaxed" as Angelica says. We went partying for 12 hours straight.. we went Bollywood (Indian) and Belly dancing at Angelica's studio... we went to Old Stockholm as well as New (South) Stockholm.. we went to Skansen. And etc. All around its been a blast.

More to come in a moment... because Angelica-- though with me all the time and sitting in the same room as me now-- wants to read my blog and sad i havent updated it. hahaha

First Impressions of Sweden and the Swedes

2008-08-21T14:06:00.000-07:00

So being up since 6 am Wednesday (except for two hours of random sleep), I am either way overtired or Sweden is just plain AMAZING. Haha call me crazy but I love it here.

My travels started at 11:30 AM Wednesday the 20th when I drove down with my mom and her boyfriend to Newark NJ. I picked up my boarding pass and checked my bags. My two checked bags were 102.5 pounds all together. The woman checking me in just chuckled and said do not worry about it. Literally she could of charged me 50 US Dollars for being over even just that 2.5 pounds, but I was sooo happy she did not.

One of my best friends from William Paterson, Peter, came to the airport to see me off since his parent's house is right near by. We sat in the cafe for a little bit and caught up which was nice. I miss him a lot. Then we all walked over to the security gate and said our goodbyes. My mom cried and I was heartbroken when she did (love you mom). I haven't cried at all yet nor have I been nervous or butterflies. Travelling has become so natural for me but also because I am just sooo ready to experience something out of North America.

I got through security and onto my flight just fine (funny because when looking for my terminal I was secretly looking out for the flock of blonde Swedes). My flight went extremely well. See photos below:

So when we were landing and I saw Sweden for the first time.. I saw farms and trees. Lots of both. Haha I was so so excited. I just smiled. I love being out in the "bush" as Angelica likes to call it. She told me Vaxjo will be my kind of city then. After that we flew over Stockholm and all the red roofs had a very European feel. When we landed at the Arlanda Airport, I was very excited to see the Swedish road signs and the european license plates. When we exited the plan, it was easy enough to find my way for the most part. All the signs had the English translation and soon I found myself waiting to get the "stamp of approval" by Swedish customs. With just one look and the simple, "You are studying in Sweden?" question, I was out of there and on my way to baggage claim.

Here I realized my flight was an hour late. I felt horrible not finding Angelica at baggage claim (not realizing that in Sweden, non-passengers aren't allowed into baggage claim like in the States). So I waited and waited for my bags. After twenty minutes they arrived. Then I realized there was no way I was going to make it far with all of them in hand.

At that point I saw karts people used to hold all their luggage- we have them in the States' airports but you have to pay a few dollars for the carriage- so again I just assumed I would have to pay Swedish Crowns... which I didn't have because I didn't exchange my money yet. So after asking, I realized the karts were free to use. So I took one and life became a lot more easy.

Angelica was waiting with her Sweden track jacket on the other side of baggage claim. She ran up to me and hugged me. We exchanged my money and then I ran to the bathroom before we caught our bus.

Why do I share that I went to the bathroom... probably because all the ladies who had used the facility walked out without washing their hands. I was grossed out until I walked into the next stall and realized there is a sink inside the stall. And that to flush the toilet you had to push a button down.

--more to come. but it is 12:43 am. bed time.

Last Full Day in the States

2008-08-18T21:05:00.000-07:00

Well it's about that time. The time that has been long awaited for over six months. But let me clarify that that six months has not only been slower than a snail, but also it has just been the actual planning months. I have wanted to live abroad for as long as I can remember and now I am a day away from starting my new adventure. I couldn't be more excited, anxious and butterfly/light headed thinking about it.

My flight leaves NJ in the early evening but my journey begins on Wednesday before noon. The drive will take around three hours and with all the customs and etc. I figure it is better to have enough time than none at all. I am one for taking my sweet time.

It is so hard to believe today is my last full day in the States for one year. I honestly am close to tears (yes mom, can you actually believe it). Not because I am going to miss people- which I clearly will more than I can describe- but because I have no idea if this is the worst mistake in the world or the best idea I could of ever done for myself.

I clearly know.. with my attitude and my outlook in life, regardless I will make it a positive situation. But I just can't believe my life dream is coming so close and a day away. It frightens me a little. Who actually thought. Not me.

I know it will be the best decision I could of ever made - thanks to the help of my international friends' as well as my HOBY friends' advice and support from friends.

I will be posting next probably to give an update on my Swedish-Stockholm Adventures
...Wish me luck!

Obama- how I love that man.

2008-08-15T16:26:00.001-07:00

:D

2008-08-10T19:03:00.000-07:00

World Leadership Congress 2008

2008-08-08T20:55:00.000-07:00

Where to begin since my last post? I am on my return trip from Washington DC where I was for two weeks volunteering for the Hugh O’Brian Youth Leadership World Leadership Congress 2008. Being the 50th anniversary it was one of those experiences you do not want to miss. So I took a seven hour train ride from Hartford Connecticut to Washington DC and then metro’ed over to George Washington Foggy Bottom to arrive in my HOBY paradise. This was my third summer spent on this campus, second as staff. Over sixteen countries represented this year, it was more inspirational than ever stepping off the escalator into the vivid sun. I will not lie when I say I did not get excited (i.e. butterflies deep in your stomach with excitement to see friends). Possibly it was because I was too comfortable with my position. Not only that but the million of other reasons which don't need to be stated here for timesakes. But I was soon to be in my “HOBY mood” when I surprised Monika Bach, one of my best HOBY WLC friends, by arriving earlier than she expected… Simply because I told her my train was delayed but really I was on my way up the elevator :P.

Right after that my team assembled and we had our Programs Team meeting. Helen distributed work to us all. It was so weird being back in the same lounge meeting with my team after not seeing more than half of them for a full year. I was lucky enough to see Monika around Thanksgiving when she was in Boston and Shawn at New Years when we rented a house in Orlando with some other mutual friends. As for the rest, it was ludicrous how much we all had changed. Physically and mentally. After this year I decided to take a year off from HOBY just so I can still go to Ghana, Africa with CCSU for a course as well as travel. I was planning months ago to go to Rwanda with an English anti-genocide group I am friends with (Aegis Students) but thought HOBY 50th is something special I needed to be at.

__________________________
Post continued after a week of being home:

The rest of WLC went well. Some highlights:
-United Arab Emirates Embassy Visit

___________________________________________________________
UPDATE:

-Mike Huckabee, Former Gov of AK and Former Presidential Candidate

-

Always Changing.

2008-07-11T09:11:00.000-07:00

College Search For My Younger Sister

2008-07-11T08:55:00.000-07:00

My sister Erin is starting the college search now that it is the summer before her senior year of high school. Crazy to think in a year she will be graduated from the public school system and off to college. I will be coming home from Sweden then.. missing her whole last year of high school to be abroad. Sometimes I feel guitly as though I should be there for her in her last stretch to the finish line but realize when I was her place senior year served as a time for myself to do a lot of thinking on a personal level. In the mean time while I am still in the states I went with her, my mother and two cousins to see two universities. University of New Hampshire and Johnson & Wales of Providence (Rhode Island). Though UNH was very nice, it had a UConn feel to it and was located in the middle of NO WHERE (did have a train station located on campus to take you into Boston -an hour away).

Johnson & Wales got my sister right away. She loved it... and it also happened to be where my mother and father went to university and fell in love. My mother went on to graduate from the university and my father moved off to Florida for ten months a year to work. He never graduated but the two continued to date for 5 years and got married. Made my mom really happy to see how much my sister enjoyed the university. Plus it is only an hour and 20 minutes away from home.

It will be interesting to see where else she applies. She is still looking into some universities in Arizona and FL.

Life goes on

2008-07-06T19:24:00.000-07:00

..Like it always has.

Just working 40 hours a week. Making money.. or is it just to pass the time. Sweden in 44 days. It's crazy. I found out today that VXU is going to Gotland (biggest island of Sweden) for a weekend vacation. It just happen to be the weekend of my 20th birthday. I am so excited. The island is not only beautiful but historic. I cannot WAIT.

What else. Life here is good besides that.. going to New Hampshire and Rhode Island on Tuesday. Last day I will spend with my cousin Kristen for a year. She leaves for Montana Weds and won't be back until after I have left. It is strange having already said goodbye to some people.

Svenska fadder!

2008-07-05T06:13:00.000-07:00

Växjö Universitet has a program for exchange students which pairs the student with a Swedish student. This Swedish student serves as a mentor to the exchange student helping them to get used to the Swedish life/university style. I applied for one a couple of months back and happy to say I have a fadder now :D

His name is Martin and he is 25 years old. He's Swedish but studied in England for a little while so his English is very good. Martin and I have been talking a lot via Skype lately. He has been a big help so far so I can't wait to meet him in a month and a half. Below is a picture him.

Where I stand with things today...

2008-07-03T20:35:00.000-07:00

Things are getting hectic here preparing for WLC. But in the mean time..
1) Quit my resturant job.. it was too stressful and I didn't like being a waitress. Better benefits staying with my first job at the theaters and more hours
2) I received min Svenska fadder. His name is Martin and he is really helping me out a lot.
3) Ryanair.com = AMAZING
4) I move to Sweden in 48 days.. EKKS

HOBY HOBY HOBY

2008-06-24T08:32:00.000-07:00

So working on some HOBY stuff since I am going to be leaving soon for CT HOBY and soon enough for WLC in DC. Here are some pictures from last years CT HOBY and WLC :D

A requested update :P

2008-06-24T07:09:00.000-07:00

I started waitressing at my new job at a diner a few exits down the way from my home. I like it alright, but yesterday was my last day in training. I worked my own tables instead of shadowing my friend Cali. My first table was sat and when I went up to talk to them and place their order, I realized the man had a "Courage for Cristina" bracelet on. This lime green bracelet was a fundraiser done for a young woman named Cristina Cortese who had a rare form of lung cancer. Cristina passed away 4/13/08 before she was 23 years old. She graduated with my older sister from Tolland High School. I worked with her family and went to school with her sisters. Anyways, it caught me off guard seeing the bracelet and I was also wearing it that day. I had to take a few minutes to myself since I almost lost it. It was a small wake up call for me. Realizing again life is too short to miss the small things. There are a lot of things I want to get done in the next few weeks before Hugh O'Brian Youth Leadership (HOBY) World Leadership Congress.

As for the rest of my summer, I went over the weekend to my friend Matilda Saori's surprise birthday party in Hartford at her boyfriend Bruno's house. It was so nice to see everyone (or who is left of us). Pictures to come later when others upload them haha.

SWEDEN in 58 days. I cannot wait. I miss my internationals a lot and cannot wait to be in Europe to see more of them :D

A new day brings new beginnings.

2008-06-11T07:01:00.000-07:00

I have decided that today and tomorrow are deemed "mental health" days for myself. They are much needed to clear out some of the cobwebs I have in my head but also to clean out my room completely. This way I can throw-out/donate EVERYTHING I no longer need and put everything else I don't need out in my room into storage. I need to clear my mind of those whom haven't helped me advance in my studies and my career and those whom only cause heartache... (Or maybe just a headache?). I have doubted my own abilities for long enough. I am my own person. I am a woman. A strong independent woman who has a future ahead of herself and does not need those who bring her down. I need to forget those “men” who I have thought to be these great males, who in my mind cared for me just the way I cared for them. I am better than them. I do not need their games. In the end all I have in my soul in all these different containment spaces. It’s me at the end of the day I have to be happy with. If love finds its way into my soul, let it be. Regardless I have to be more than content with myself to lead a successful life. I am coming out of the desert and into the sun, even if it’s alone. I am tired of waiting around for life to begin. Note to self: what has the last 19, almost 20 years been in this containment space? Life is pressing on, whether we like it or not. You have to decide to move with it or to stay stuck and pretend like you have everything under control as you scramble to avoid change.
I miss sewing. I used to recycle my old clothes and make new ones for myself. I loved it. I have recently had some cool ideas forming in my head for designs. Yet why do I not use my creative juices and actually produce these ideas into real life objects. Laziness but also not having the right environment. That is why I need to clean my room 110 percent.

Yeah that is my daily rambles. Thanks for listening if you are.

Places I will be traveling: City Hall in Stockholm

2008-06-10T09:48:00.000-07:00

All photos by: Yanan Li

DUMBLEDOREEE

2008-05-25T20:25:00.000-07:00

This video reminds me so much of New Jersey with my friends there. Alysa & Casi & Igor singing this.. oh man I miss those kids.. with the exception of certain people. Pete texted me tonight asking me if I was coming to visit anytime soon. I told him I was not able to financially. I hope he visits although before I move since I think about him and Will a lot these days.

Where I want to visit:

2008-05-25T08:02:00.000-07:00

Stockholm
-Angelica
-a coffee shop to experience Swedish Coffee - Fika-(which is supposed to be WAY better than American's coffee)
-underground stations which have been decorated by modern artists
-Söder, one of Stockholm's shopping districts which is more creative and trendy
-Wasa Warship
-Stockholm's Absolut Ice-Bar (literally an ice bar)
-Ikea
-Cruise to Tallinn, Estonia (maybe, we will see)

Random hopes to see
-Reindeer and Elk in the nature
-Dog sledding
-Sandhammaren in Österlen, southeastern tip of Skåne's beach
-Sarek national park
-Old Uppsala
-Late 12th century Kalmar Castle
-Ales Stones
-Northern Lights
-Ice hotel

To do while I am there
-Canoe/Kayak
-Hiking
-Buy a “dalahäst” or Dalecarlian horse (wooden horse.. not real. Don't have a heart attack mom)
-Enjoy Swedish designs in general

One day but most likely not this trip
-Midnight sun in Northern Sweden
*Cool fact about Sweden: Swedish Right to Public Access, you are able to stay the night pretty much anywhere in Sweden.

So much to do and so little time

2008-05-25T07:39:00.000-07:00

Hej

So I have concluded study abroad is harder than it looks from the surface. I am not going just yet and the amounts of paperwork and phone calls done and still need to be done added up to amount to weeks and weeks of work. Don't get me wrong I always knew it would take a lot, but there are so many little things we take for granted on a day to day base. So I am just trying to stay organized and keep a running to-do-list for myself. I am heading down to New York City in a few days to apply for my Swedish Student Resident Permit. In the mean time I am just making errands to collect all my paperwork needed as well as making copies of everything. I hope they grant me it, or else all this goes to waste...

I was speaking with my Svenska flicka this morgon (swedish girl, morning [you have to love my swed-lish language]) och (and) we were talking about my travels. I plan on flyer (flying) to Stockholm (capital of Sweden) first. Then from there Angelica was talking about taking a themed cruise with me! I was looking on the English version website she sent me and we are seriously thinking about it. They are extremely inexpensive, atleast in our American outlook on it.

I will write more soon. Getting ready for the day. My older sister and her boyfriend Tom are leaving soon to go back to VA where they live.

Updated News

2008-05-09T21:05:00.000-07:00

Now I am going to officially going to Sweden for the fall & spring semester!!

God Morgon! (Good Morning)

2008-05-07T15:31:00.000-07:00

Växjö University (Sweden) where I will be in the SPRINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

My flat!

(haha just kidding, Swedish Ice Hotel that I want to go see!)

Swedish 101: Plural

2008-05-03T08:38:00.000-07:00

en pojke: a boy
pojkar: the boys

en man: a man
män: the men

en flicka: the girl
flickor*: the girls

en kvinna: the woman
kvinnor*: the women

en blomma
en blommor*

*Maybe in Swedish is it a rule to to make an "-a" ending plural by making it a "-or" ending? We will have to see I guess.

ett öga: one eye
ogon: the eyes

en hund: a dog
hundar: the dogs

en baby: a baby
bebisar (be-e-i-sar): the babies

ett barn: a child
barn: children

ett agg: an egg/one egg
ägg: the eggs

En pojke hoppar: the boy jumps
Pojkar hoppar: the boys jump

En flicka springer: the girl runs
Flickor springer: the girls run

En kvinna sjunger: the woman sings
Kvinnor sjunger: the women sing

En pojke pa en cykle: A boy on a bike
Män pa cyklar: the men on bikes

Barnet sitter: the child sitting
Barnen sitter: the children sitting

Hastarna går (has-tan-a gore): the horses walk

Bilen ar vit
Bilarna ar vita

En fågel flyer
Fåglar flyer

Swedish 101: Number lesson

2008-05-02T21:22:00.001-07:00

Zero: noll
One: ett
Two: två (sounds like four)
Three: tre (tr-e)
Four: fyra (fear-a)
Five: fem
Six: sex
Seven: sju
Eight: åtta (o-ta)
Nine: nio (ni-ou)
Ten: tio (t-u)

I am having troubles with seven… I guess I need to ask my Swedish woman, Angelica... or should I say, "Svenska kvinna Angelica"

Swedish 101: Lesson 1

2008-05-02T20:18:00.000-07:00

Since I am going to be living in Sweden for four-five months, I have decided to start learning Swedish now. I was in the mall near my university when I saw the Rosetta Stone kiosk. I went up and discussed the product with the employee. I was amazed with the company's policy, allowing customers to return the product unconditionally within 6 months of your purchase (speaking of which now there is a Rosetta Stone commerical on television, how funny). There are quite a few languages too which made me even more excited.

Anyways, needless to say I purchased the Swedish language level one. I figured it was cheaper than taking a Swedish course and I could go at my own pace.

Here are some interesting lessons I have learned so far with the Swedish language in my level one, lesson 1-3:

("en" sounds like the letter "n")
There are alot of similarities between English and Swedish I have come to realize so far.

a man: en man
a woman: en kvinna
a boy: en pojke
a girl: en flicka
a dog: en hund
a plane: ett flygplan (et- fleeg-plann)
a ball: en boll (n - balll)
a horse: en häst
a table: ett bord (et boarrd)
a boat: en båt

and: och
on: på
under: under (un-der)
in: i (e)

(pronunciations are done by myself so might not be completely correct but how I hear it as)

"Devil Came on Horseback" Documentary

2008-04-29T20:50:00.000-07:00

THE DEVIL CAME ON HORSEBACK exposes the tragedy taking place in Darfur as seen through the eyes of an American witness who has since returned to the US to take action to stop it.

Using the exclusive photographs and first hand testimony of former U.S. Marine Captain Brian Steidle, THE DEVIL CAME ON HORSEBACK takes the viewer on an emotionally charged journey into the heart of Darfur, Sudan, where an Arab run government is systematically executing a plan to rid the province of it’s black African citizens. As an official military observer, Steidle had access to parts of the country that no journalist could penetrate. He was unprepared for what he would witness and experience, including being fired upon, taken hostage, and being unable to intervene to save the lives of young children. Ultimately frustrated by the inaction of the international community, Steidle resigned and returned to the US to expose the images and stories of lives systematically destroyed.

I was fortunate to be able to view this film (purchased via the iTunes Store). I could not even form sentences after I watched the documentary. If you get the chance, please rent it or buy it or even come see me and you can watch it on my laptop. Truly something I feel you should watch.

Brian did an amazing job on educating as well as showing the truth behind the lines and lies. I will post more later when I have a chance.

An INTERNATIONAL FILM CIRCUIT release of a BREAK THRU FILMS production in association with GLOBAL GRASSROOTS & THREE GENERATIONS.

www.thedevilcameonhorseback.com

2008-04-29T20:33:00.000-07:00

Well hello there blog readers!

I decided to start this blog randomly today since I feel like it is one more tool of procasination I can use. But more importantly I can document my travels and adventures for my friends and family to read.

I am currently extremely excited for my upcoming travels to DC and Sweden.

So check back for updates as well as photographs!

Love and peace,
Nicole